Have you ever stopped to look around you? I mean really see the people that surround you on a daily basis?
I have a group of “friends” whom I’ve known for over 20 years. I don’t live in the same state as they do anymore. I don’t talk on the phone with any of them. I don’t email them much at all. Once a year we all get together and, for me, it’s like we were together the month before. We laugh a lot. It’s nice to have friends like that. There’s a history. There’s a comfort. If they needed me, I would be there.
But every once in a while I’m reminded just how removed from them I am. Like when I see some of them in pictures at their kids birthday parties and other events. I’m usually the last to know about major happenings – surgeries, engagements, pregnancies. I read emails going by about dinner get togethers.
Then I think, we must not be as close as I thought. I mean, to be fair, we don’t really know one another anymore. Can I still call them friends? My other friends, the ones I see frequently, the ones I go out to dinner with, the ones who know what’s going on with me and know my kids well, they’re my real friends, right?
Sometimes I wonder what’s the point? But my husband says, enjoy the relationships for what they are. I guess I just want more. And when I feel left out, it really hurts. I don’t blame them. We’re all busy. There’s not a lot of time to get together. I don’t go out of my way to make plans, and neither do they. I’m probably spending more time writing about it here, than they’ve even given it thought. Maybe my problem is that I’m still emotionally invested in the friendships. I should just enjoy them for what they are, a fun get together once a year. What’s the harm in that?
